Fidelity and Honesty

 is it about the mind or the body ?

even when you are in a committed relationship, there is no reason why you cant appreciate another person. it is a natural healthy reaction. taking it one step further, what if you are really attracted to that person and vice versa ? do you remain content by just thinking about it, telling yourself - "but i am not doing anything". or is it better to just to go the whole hog, have a physical relationship and (try) get over with it ? some might argue that if you cannot get a hold over your libido, if you cannot remain faithful to your partner, then what is the difference between you and a polygamous animal. but what good is it if i still keep thinking about that person ? am i still not being unfaithful to my partner ? some say that it is what you do that matters. does that mean it is okay to think and lech after a person, as long as i don't go ahead and sleep with him/her ? when two people make a commitment to each other in a relationship, the subtext doesnt mean that we will stop seeing things around us. rather it is that we will stay true to each other, come hell or high water. this probably is a basic tenet of any relationship. 

if you are attracted to another man/woman, but still really want to get it out of your system, then isnt it better to come clean to your partner, instead of just thinking about it or even clandestinely going ahead with it ? what i mean is, which one is worse ? to keep thinking about Mr.X all the time, while still physically being in the current relationship ? or having the courage to give-up the safe haven of your current relationship and giving Mr.X an honest try ? the latter is a risk, perhaps with no returns. that's why it is called a risk.

being attracted to someone outside of the relationship may not necessarily mean that your current relationship is incomplete or unfulfilling. some (mostly) men have admitted that they have, simultaneously been in love with more than one women. there have been times when he has been forced to make a choice. but then there have also been times when all of them have co-existed with each other agreeably, with the knowledge of the existence of each other. the point i am trying to make, is, why not give honesty a chance ? if i flip-out at my partner's admission of attraction to some else, perhaps for now, i would have averted a break-down of the relationship with my tantrums, temper, anger and hurt. but it is only a matter of time when he starts thinking that coming clean is just not an option. 

the thing is, you cannot hold a person hostage by putting the ransom of the relationship. it feels scary to give-up someone you love, you are committed to, because we all have the urge to seek comfort in the known and want security. to achieve that, we are guilty of inflicting "emotional atyachaar" on the other person. but sometimes you might have to let go of the bird that you have imprisoned in a golden cage, trusting fate, knowing that if two people are meant to be with each other, they will find a way back. and it is better done as a choice than necessity.