But most of y’all don’t get the picture ‘less the flash is on. - Lil Wayne, 6'7"

I guess the advantage of not having a high opinion about myself is that it makes me the first person to laugh at my own foibles and failures.

Musing about the one that got away, wondering what it would have been like. the one that never happened, the one that never was or ever will be.

Conversation between Shehnai and Guitar

The late Shammi Kapoor essays the role of a shehnai maestro with much heart and soul. There is a certain charm in his character of a world-renowned, much-rewarded shehnai player who first recognizes the potential in Ranbir Kapoor's JJ. With a twinkle in his aging eyes and a slight smile creasing-up his paper-white skin, he warns that "this boy (JJ) cannot be bound by mere contracts and words, his talent belongs to no-one but to the sky and beyond, his is an untamed soul which will never rest, he is destined for things far bigger than mere fame and success."

The wonderful jugalbandi between the "traditional" shehnai and the "modern" guitar, between the yesteryear and the future, between the aged and the young.

In  The Dichotomy of Fame shehnai protectively warns the guitar of the perils of fame. It says, "I have seen fame, known it intimately and flirted with it. It is something that everyone wants and aspires for and it is heady like a drug giving you a soaring high. But it also crushes your soul, tears you apart, squeezes everything out of you and renders you as a mere empty shell. Once you are into it, there is no escape. And when you are at the top, it gets lonely and the only way is down."

Guitar says, "this is only about my music. If fame is a collateral damage I have to suffer, then so be it. It is a small price to pay for my heart and soul that is my music. I cannot live without creating my music it, and perhaps I will be unable to live with it. Perhaps it will destroy and devour me. but this is the only way I know."

---

Kaho Kya Khayaal Hai...

From The Dewarists, Season 1 Episode 2. Featuring Shantanu Moitra, Swanand Kirkire and duo Zeb & Haaniya.

Dhadkano ki taal baaje
Saanson ka ek tara
Aangan mein sajaye baithein
Sooraj chanda taara

Chalo baant lein hum zindagi
Zara aaj yun kar lein
Kaho kya khayal hai...

Ik jahan chota sa apna
Ik jahan tumhara
Muskaan chahe meethi ho
Ya aansoon ek khara

Chalo baant lein ghum aur khushi
Thodi guftagoo kar lein
Kaho kya khayaal hai...

Aap se do baat kar lein
Yaadon ko jebon mein bhar lein
Aaye hain hum kuch dino ke baad

Yaaron ki saubat mein aake
Dheere se kuch gunguna ke
Yuhin kat jaate hain din aur raat

Muthi mein tum bheench lana sawan hara
Ek dhanak tum bhi tod lana falak se zara
Muthi muthi baant lenge kiranon ka katra
Ik sikka dhoop humse lena gar kam laga
Betuk hi Be matlab hans le hum
Kyun na is lamhe mein
Haan jee lein hum

Chalo baant lein hum zindagi
Zara aaj yun kar lein
Kaho kya khayaal hai...

Aap se do baat kar lein
Yaadon ko jebon mein bhar lein
Aaye hain hum kuch dino ke baad

Yaaron ki saubat mein aake
Dheere se kuch gunguna ke
Yuhin kat jaate hain din aur raat...

Lyrics Courtesy: http://www.lyricsmint.com/2011/10/kya-khayaal-hai-lyrics-video-dewarists.html

An old post that disappeared...

Why do i write ? to tell others whats going on in my life ? because it is cathartic ? because it helps me gather my thoughts ? because it helps me connect with certain people ?

i write to remember. i write because i do not know if i will remember how i used to think, even five years from now. i need to remember how i hurt, laughed, complained and spoke silly. i need to be able to see my graph, how i grew up and grew out. this blog serves as a store-house for my memories. like a pensieve of harry potter..

Disjointed Thoughts

Getting drenched in the rain and looking like a scarecrow ! it is one thing to sit at home with a warm cup of coffee and wax eloquent about the beautiful rains. but it is totally different to actually get completely drenched and wet to the bones, especially when you have to reach somewhere that is not your home.

The day-time diet can go to dogs when a can of Milkmaid sitting in the refrigerator cries-out for attention ! 

Not wanting to know the truth. would that be selfishness, or self-defense, or self-pity or self-fulfiling  ?

Sometimes i revel in my failures, loses, hurt and sadness. i feel they make my life interesting (atleast in my own eyes). or else i really have nothing much, nothing to rebel against or fight for. being cross is convenient. you don't bother about possibilities. but you can be cross only for so long.

About letting go and finding peace, this is what a friend had to say...One cold wintry night (one of those nights which u never remember and bypass in retrospection coz they never stand for anything), nothing lifechangingly important happened to me except that i let go...let go of all the anger, negativity, angst, everything that i had nurtured so obstinately hoping that it will give me the passion to live life as it should be led, recklessly...and it felt strangely empty and not liberating...suddenly there were no ideologies to oppose , no causes to fight for and no reason to be nasty to ppl...and i am not sure that i am ok with such a state of existence...but if that is the case did i really let go in the first place???

The transient and impossible nature of love

Wong Kar Wai's movies are about the fascination with the distances between two people, the melancholy of unrequited love.

In the Mood for Love: the movie is a visual treat if not anything else. well, there is a lot more to the movie than this. a tenuous bond (grows) between a man and a woman when they find out that their respective spouses are cheating on them with each other. it is about their own growing attraction to each other, the ensuing conversations of whether they should give-in, their ideas about love, faith, trust and marriage. it is about the notion of the missed moment, what could have been. her walk along the narrow streets of the city, aglow with red chinese lamps, and the mellow music is one of the most beautiful moments in the film.

My Blueberry Nights: again a visual treat with tantalizing close-ups of vanilla ice-cream and blueberry pie. the waiter in the cafe who can identify people with what they order says, "when you run cafe, you get used to most people coming and going without any explanation..its part of running this business. but then this time, something was different". she comes there and orders her usual fix and is trying to get over a broken heart. the movie is shot only in cafes and a casino. that is probably a metaphor for showing the characters who are in transition. the movie appeals to the laid-back senses, even if it leaves the intellect hungry.