I love hoping and become heartbroken when those hopeless hopes don't come true. The latter part of the sentence happens more often than not. Does that make me an incorrigible fool ?
I sometimes feel that it is too easy to remain cynical, cold, hard, bitter, don the garb of "I have faced a lot in life which has made me this way and I want to remain this way". Fact is, it takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there time and again. Risk getting irritated, pushed-around, stood-up or hurt. But still hope that the person in front of you will see your way. Hope that if things dont work-out your way, there is a good reason for that (even if you might end-up spending the remaining part of your life trying to figure-out that reason). Hope that the only take-away from your past experiences with people, with circumstances, with life, is a good lesson. And ample doses of strength.
As my friend put it: there is a thin line between faith and being in denial. Likewise, a thin line between hope and foolish dreams. I dont know if hoping against hope makes me an optimist or a fool in denial.
But all I know is, sometimes I feel I am working overtime to not become a cynic and cold person. That cheers me up. I know there is a lot more I might have to face. There might be incidents later that might trigger the same hurt, sadness, anger. But I also know that I have good people in my life. They do not owe me anything. But they will listen to my rants, cajole me, comfort me, scold me, laugh at me. They will stand by me, and I am thankful for that. If not to myself, I owe it to their faith in me.
I sometimes feel that it is too easy to remain cynical, cold, hard, bitter, don the garb of "I have faced a lot in life which has made me this way and I want to remain this way". Fact is, it takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there time and again. Risk getting irritated, pushed-around, stood-up or hurt. But still hope that the person in front of you will see your way. Hope that if things dont work-out your way, there is a good reason for that (even if you might end-up spending the remaining part of your life trying to figure-out that reason). Hope that the only take-away from your past experiences with people, with circumstances, with life, is a good lesson. And ample doses of strength.
As my friend put it: there is a thin line between faith and being in denial. Likewise, a thin line between hope and foolish dreams. I dont know if hoping against hope makes me an optimist or a fool in denial.
But all I know is, sometimes I feel I am working overtime to not become a cynic and cold person. That cheers me up. I know there is a lot more I might have to face. There might be incidents later that might trigger the same hurt, sadness, anger. But I also know that I have good people in my life. They do not owe me anything. But they will listen to my rants, cajole me, comfort me, scold me, laugh at me. They will stand by me, and I am thankful for that. If not to myself, I owe it to their faith in me.
