Can you ever chase away your ghosts ? or do you decide to just bury them ?

V-day

A friend's post on the day:

Ex-rated Valentine   

No other prefix comes with so much history. Put behind a name, it can etch a person into a lifelong memory. These people are not have-beens. They are the ones who lead you to your future. They are the foundation of making you find the right person. If you have the power to say no today, thank them. They push you to find yourself like no other. They test your patience. They teach you pain. They are the ones who gave you the ability to stand up for yourself, face your dislikes and walk away. They have inspired painters, writers and film makers from the beginning of time. Imagine a life without soaps, a magazine without gossip, and no e-news. The ex has often quizzed many a doctor, demanding a cure for the broken heart. The ex can take any amount of abuse, just so you can make your partner feel good about herself. They can tackle anything. But for one thing, nobody wants to be known as a sad story. So shed some blue. Move on! They did too. Happy Valentine's Day!

Compliments from Lee Jeans!
  

Thanks for the insight, Pai ! V-day will never be the same for me ;) 

For a friend.

as the months went by, our arguments became less frequent, we clashed on fewer topics, you decided to uneasily accept some realities of life, i decided to reluctantly let-go of some. we still agreed on few things, but learned to let it slide by. did we stop caring about each other's views or did we just become a little mature in setting aside our drastic differences ?

as months went by, i noticed that the lines of your face became more harsh although your demeanor became quieter, your dressing sense became a little better although your food habits remained difficult, you may have done a lot of things that you would have stayed 100 miles away earlier but your beliefs in some things still stand the test of time.

for all that you have said or done, for all the traits i vehemently oppose or dislike in you, for the very fact that you are one of the most difficult person to deal with or have around, i would not like to change you. ever.

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back."

- Unknown 

"There's a little truth behind every "just kidding", a little curiosity behind every "just wondering", a little knowledge behind every "i don't know", and a little emotion behind every "i don't care".

- Unknown.

forget non-fiction, biographies, post-modern concepts, political theories. i am in mood for reading chick-flicks. is that so bad ? erm..well...

Disappearance

When I speak of time, it is not yet
When I speak of a place, it has disappeared
When I speak of a man, he’s already dead
When I speak of time, it already is no more
 
- Jean Baudrillard

Of cheap stunts to gain attention, false hopes and chilling realizations.

Letting Go

"These were the lovely bones that had grown around my absence: the connections — sometimes tenuous, sometimes made at great cost, but often magnificent — that happened after I was gone. And I began to see things in a way that let me hold the world without me in it. ...."

i see everyone around me moving-on with their lives. friends, family, colleagues. i often think of Susie Salmon's words in My Lovely Bones. i miss them dearly, i no longer form a part of their life. fear makes me hold-on to them because i really have no one else. a perverted part of me wanted them to miss me. did i think their lives would halt in my absence ? did i think i could still be a part of their lives without being physically there ?


i feel like i am still stuck in the past. i feel it especially when i come to know about some developments in someone's life through an impersonal platform like facebook or gtalk status. i am now laughing about it, but  in those times, it makes me question my importance in their lives. they are still such an important part of my life.  like it or not, most relationships are based on a quid pro quo basis. so does that mean that i should also cut my losses and move-on ?

on some days, i just want to give-up taking the mature stand and feel hurt, angry and sad. or perhaps i should take heart in the next line that Susie says:

And I began to see things in a way that let me hold the world without me in it.

Bookstores and Airports

realized recently that i have read quite a few books only in the bookstore and in my transit during traveling ! these are books that i have never bought. my sincere thanks to Borders, Oxford, Crossword and all the airport bookstalls.


Books read in bookstores:

Man, woman and child - eric segal

strong medicine, final diagnosis - arthur hailey

towards zero, they do it with mirrors, postern of fate - agatha christie (yes, i "revise" her books time to time)

lost symbol - dan brown

zoya, amazing grace, sisters, matters of heart - danielle steel

The confession - grisham


airport books: although by definition, they ought to be fast-paced and interesting, for me they are called so because i will never spend money to buy them, and i will never pick-up these books if i have lot of time at my disposal in bookstores. i have put myself through them as they have come highly recommended from some quarters. needless to say, you cannot always trust people's judgment on books ;)


who moved my cheese

i moved your cheese

the monk who sold his ferrari

count your chickens before they hatch

three states of my life