"These were the lovely bones that had grown around my absence: the connections — sometimes tenuous, sometimes made at great cost, but often magnificent — that happened after I was gone. And I began to see things in a way that let me hold the world without me in it. ...."
i see everyone around me moving-on with their lives. friends, family, colleagues. i often think of Susie Salmon's words in My Lovely Bones. i miss them dearly, i no longer form a part of their life. fear makes me hold-on to them because i really have no one else. a perverted part of me wanted them to miss me. did i think their lives would halt in my absence ? did i think i could still be a part of their lives without being physically there ?
i feel like i am still stuck in the past. i feel it especially when i come to know about some developments in someone's life through an impersonal platform like facebook or gtalk status. i am now laughing about it, but in those times, it makes me question my importance in their lives. they are still such an important part of my life. like it or not, most relationships are based on a quid pro quo basis. so does that mean that i should also cut my losses and move-on ?
on some days, i just want to give-up taking the mature stand and feel hurt, angry and sad. or perhaps i should take heart in the next line that Susie says:
And I began to see things in a way that let me hold the world without me in it.
No comments:
Post a Comment