the most beautiful part of this is, nothing that is happening now is wrong. she cannot push back and fight. she cannot scream "unfair" or "how can you say this to me". because deep down she knew this would happen, maybe this is the only way she can pay for what she has done.

but does that mean she cannot feel sad ? perhaps the day she stops feeling sad and starts accepting whatever is being said to her, she is over. neither her heart nor her mind accepts it. of course she cannot voice her defense. but she has a loop in her mind that keeps working and works overtime to tell her that all this is going to be important in shaping her thoughts and opinions in future. her thinking about family, friends, support, love, apologies, setbacks, guilt...

for now, she needs to keep her soul intact. she cannot slip into ignominy and self-pity. she cannot give-up the fight. the fight for her self. the battle to claw back into the world, to have a place for herself.

she does not know from where or how she will get the strength from. perhaps she is already dealing with it, in her own way. she is not relegating this at the back of my mind and thinking of dealing with it later. because she is afraid later might be too late.