Strength is not the absence of weakness as courage is not the absence of fear. our (chosen) path in life can have a lot many consequences. some are disastrous and some are expected. and yet, some are surprisingly different.

The only morality that one needs to adhere to, is not to hurt anyone, intentionally. sometimes you face  situations which are so out of your control. so much so that you hurt the people you love the most. i have done that. i have done that and much more. and i am not proud of it and neither do i ever justify it. which is exactly why i call them my mistakes. morality sometimes kicks-in only when you get caught in the act. perhaps i can take some cold comfort in the fact that it was my own decision to come-out clean to the people i chose to. in the ensuing process, i have lost almost all my friends. my family has stopped trusting me. some have chosen the ambiguity of  silence, some have plainly made it clear that they would not like to keep in touch with me ever again. yet, there have been precious few who have chosen to at least try to look past it. only time will tell what happens to the last few of those relationships.

To those who have chosen to remain silent or weed me out of their lives, you have full right to see this as you feel like. i have destroyed the faith you had placed me and i have abused your trust and respect. you may say that i have done something that even an enemy would not do. i have lost the right to expect a fair treatment from you.  but for one second, can you not see me past that ?  have i not admitted that they were my mistakes ? did i ever try to justify my actions ?

Or perhaps, i can again take a small comfort in thinking that our good relationship lastly while things were good and dandy. perhaps the strength of the relationship was only so much and i subjected it to way more duress than it could handle. i only wish most of my relationships were stronger than what i had assumed them to be.