Does the adage: "People maketh the place", still hold true ?
I have never understood the difference until recently. When someone complains about the place, why does the "people" factor always crop-in ? When you live in a place that is dreary, cold, has bad roads, far-off utility stores and entertainment areas, hard to reach with bad public transportation, the only factor that makes those kind of places habitable are the people around, the friends we make. I for one, will never undermine the importance of people in our lives.
But on the other hand, can I dislike the people and still love the place ?
When I make the above statement, you might think of me as someone who doesn't really get-along with people, who doesn't care about making friends. Or worse, who has friends but hates them. In short, a misanthrope. Sure, I don't have a huge circle of friends. To all those few people who I am close to, you know who you are. So please don't raise your eyebrows. I love you. Perhaps, I will dedicate another blogpost only for you people.
So, coming back to the place issue. Is it still possible to make a relationship with the place, independent of the people ? By this I mean a dual relationship. You might sometimes hate the place from the bottommost core of your heart. I guess hate comes with the territory. Now-a-days. when everyone champions the cause of the individual, I am not claiming to be different. But i am also saying that who needs to be alone when you have the place to live with ? When you can clearly say why you like the place, without bringing a single mention of any people. When you can also refrain from
mentioning how clean, beautiful, and safe the place is. When you don't even have to praise the beautiful mountains,the river, the sea, the grasslands, the evergreens, the houses, buildings, and weather. What remains is something very intangible. Yet, any of you who might have loved a place, can understand. I am talking about a bond that you forge with a place, when you feel the place loves you back, holds your hand,
consoles you, comforts you, laughs at you, and with you.
From the time I started living outside of my home, I was in regular touch with the people back home. I usually got the "bullet-point version" of an incident from my mother (who is a person of very few words) and the extended, spiced-up, hilarious version from others (thanks to some brilliant story-tellers I have in my family). So I was always in the loop.
But those telephone conversations or e-mails could not simulate the environment of
something that I desperately missed. The familiarity of my home, my place and my city. Of having "my comfort space", which was not just my room, but even a random place in my city. Of never feeling lost in that city, even if I did not know my way back home, because that was my city.
I missed K as a place. It isn't that I have lived in that city or home since I was born. This city even has a language that, although I can speak, but can neither read nor write fluently. I am not proud to admit this, but it is true. I would rather read and write in english or hindi. I sometimes cringe at the hoardings and names of places written in the local language.
Does that mean that I need a "physical connection" with the place more than the people ?
On a similar case is SB, where I live now. I cannot say that I completely adore this place as much as K. I didn't miss it for a second I went home for three weeks. But this place has taught me a lot about my attitude to different cities and places. Even forced me to take a good look at it out of sheer compulsion. Maybe it has instilled in me the ability to understand a place, no matter how different, or difficult it is.
A friend once said, "I like the place "X" because i have great friends. If you take them and me and put the lot somewhere else, I would love that place "Y" too."
Does that mean that this friend is more concerned about the people in that place ?
Does it mean that this person is (overtly) dependent on the people ? Doesn't that make this person more vulnerable ?
Perhaps it isn't fair to judge.
But as of now, I am enjoying my recent-found revelation. And also trying to understand it.
I have never understood the difference until recently. When someone complains about the place, why does the "people" factor always crop-in ? When you live in a place that is dreary, cold, has bad roads, far-off utility stores and entertainment areas, hard to reach with bad public transportation, the only factor that makes those kind of places habitable are the people around, the friends we make. I for one, will never undermine the importance of people in our lives.
But on the other hand, can I dislike the people and still love the place ?
When I make the above statement, you might think of me as someone who doesn't really get-along with people, who doesn't care about making friends. Or worse, who has friends but hates them. In short, a misanthrope. Sure, I don't have a huge circle of friends. To all those few people who I am close to, you know who you are. So please don't raise your eyebrows. I love you. Perhaps, I will dedicate another blogpost only for you people.
So, coming back to the place issue. Is it still possible to make a relationship with the place, independent of the people ? By this I mean a dual relationship. You might sometimes hate the place from the bottommost core of your heart. I guess hate comes with the territory. Now-a-days. when everyone champions the cause of the individual, I am not claiming to be different. But i am also saying that who needs to be alone when you have the place to live with ? When you can clearly say why you like the place, without bringing a single mention of any people. When you can also refrain from
mentioning how clean, beautiful, and safe the place is. When you don't even have to praise the beautiful mountains,the river, the sea, the grasslands, the evergreens, the houses, buildings, and weather. What remains is something very intangible. Yet, any of you who might have loved a place, can understand. I am talking about a bond that you forge with a place, when you feel the place loves you back, holds your hand,
consoles you, comforts you, laughs at you, and with you.
From the time I started living outside of my home, I was in regular touch with the people back home. I usually got the "bullet-point version" of an incident from my mother (who is a person of very few words) and the extended, spiced-up, hilarious version from others (thanks to some brilliant story-tellers I have in my family). So I was always in the loop.
But those telephone conversations or e-mails could not simulate the environment of
something that I desperately missed. The familiarity of my home, my place and my city. Of having "my comfort space", which was not just my room, but even a random place in my city. Of never feeling lost in that city, even if I did not know my way back home, because that was my city.
I missed K as a place. It isn't that I have lived in that city or home since I was born. This city even has a language that, although I can speak, but can neither read nor write fluently. I am not proud to admit this, but it is true. I would rather read and write in english or hindi. I sometimes cringe at the hoardings and names of places written in the local language.
Does that mean that I need a "physical connection" with the place more than the people ?
On a similar case is SB, where I live now. I cannot say that I completely adore this place as much as K. I didn't miss it for a second I went home for three weeks. But this place has taught me a lot about my attitude to different cities and places. Even forced me to take a good look at it out of sheer compulsion. Maybe it has instilled in me the ability to understand a place, no matter how different, or difficult it is.
A friend once said, "I like the place "X" because i have great friends. If you take them and me and put the lot somewhere else, I would love that place "Y" too."
Does that mean that this friend is more concerned about the people in that place ?
Does it mean that this person is (overtly) dependent on the people ? Doesn't that make this person more vulnerable ?
Perhaps it isn't fair to judge.
But as of now, I am enjoying my recent-found revelation. And also trying to understand it.
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