The Burrito Story

Here is how, my friend says, the country has increased her appetite with its magnum-sized helpings...

"So, when i first landed in Baastan [sic] 4 years ago, my first meal was a burrito. i had that burrito for THREE meals, i swear. then I came to texas 2 years ago, and found the burritos 50% even larger, and it took me 3 meals to eat it. now i can eat 90% of it in one meal, sometimes even the whole thing."


Super Size Me ?

I have never ever picked up any of his other books after reading The Alchemist. When i saw some more of his books in the shelf and was told that my brother bought them, i told myself, "iske reading taste ka kuch karna padega". but once in a while, he does make sense.

"Don't allow your wounds to transform you into someone you are not."

Thank you for this wisdom, Mr. Coelho !

Summing-up my past week.

It hasnt hurt in a while. do i dare to think that i am doing okay ?

It is possible that a person may be one of your favourite people, but you may not be great friends or be really close to that person.

Speaking about one such person, i got a great news from him. but i sense a reluctance on his part to celebrate. also, does he sense that i sense that he hasnt really moved on ? well, i may be guilty of psychoanalyzing him. i wish he had the confidence in me to talk about it. and here i am, telling myself that i need to respect his privacy.

I need to stop myself from finishing an entire pack of Alpenliebe (ten pops) in one go.

When you face rejection in a relationship, it hurts mostly on two accounts. a general hurt that one cannot be with that person, spend more time and grow closer, anymore. and the other thing that is hurt is one's pride. the latter part is incredibly hard to admit, even to one own self.

There is something incredibly comforting about eating ice-cream directly from a tub.

Foibled Spirit said that i "tend to abstain from alcohol for months together and then one day, dive into it like a fish dives into water." :D i am only living-up to my zodiac sign !

Both, yes BOTH my laptops decided to die on me the very same day.

Ahh Life, have I every stopped wondering at you ?

It is always a liability to know anyone, even one own self, too well.

We - I

I have the characters in place. i need is a good screenplay. an interesting story that interlinks the following characters, who btw, are friends.


Charater 1 is in this forbidden relationship, one that seems real, but the stress of the forbidden fruit might be too much to handle. can she really find her happiness in it ?
Character 2 longs for this person who could be the one, but the ghosts of her past wont let her pursue.
Character 3 had the fairly-tale wedding. but then became the adult.
Character 4 cant have a relationship for more than a few months at a stretch. but each relationship leaves deep wounds in its wake. what is she seeking ?
Character 5 is older, wiser, cautioning others on the mistakes of her life. but were they really mistakes or a life lived on her terms ?

We have come a long long way since starting out eleven years ago.

P.S.: one of the characters is me.

P.P.S.: all characters are real-life ones.

Things I would like to do that I am unable to:

• Finish the three books I am currently reading. This is really crazy. I haven't been able to finish any of them in almost a month. Bad, bad bad baaaaad !! :O

• Not being able to take the public transportation system to work. Off-late, since we leave around the same time, my dad likes it if he gets to drop me off to my work before heading off to his. So while the driver is busy driving the car, I have to make nice conversation with him, instead of being able to read a nice book. Err. Well. Not the best thing to say, but I have enough of his conversations at home. I so cherish my 45-min commute in the public transportation system, with a book. That is how I finished books fairly quickly !

• Go to a beach on an (almost) everyday basis. I miss the beach, I miss being near the ocean and looking at the pattern the waves make and the infinite horizon. I listen to the OST of Beach to drive the feeling away.

• Read more about Anton Gaudi, Andy Warhol, Coco Chanel. These three were not just famous or talented, but absolutely crazy. And I love crazy people.

• Be shockingly rude or cheeky to the aunties and uncles of the family who are keen to get me married -off.

• Stare back at random people who just stare at me, for no reason absolutely. I am the last person on this planet who likes attention on myself. So I never dress or act to draw attention. Still fails to work.

• Get back to learning Urdu.

• Wear a saree !! Arrrgh.

• Not be camera-shy. My cousin and my camera-shyness is legendary in the family. We practically hide when we see a camera. :D

• Stop buying post-its and other stationary, even when I do not need them. My reaction to seeing good stationary is like an overweight child's reaction to a mayo-dripping burger. I do not need it, but I still want it.

• Stop treating some people like they are a mystery. Some are just plain silent and boring and lazy. Nothing to do with them being troubled.

Pfft. !!! :)

I have been reading novels for forty years. I know there are many stances we can adopt towards a novel, many ways in which we commit our mind and soul to it, treating it lightly or seriously. And in just the same manner, I have learned by experience that there are many ways to read a novel. We read sometimes logically, sometimes with our eyes, sometimes with imagination, sometimes the way we want to, sometimes the way the book wants us to and sometimes with every fiber of our being.

- Orhan Pamuk, The Naive and the Sentimental Novelist.

Shauk Hai...

One of ARR and Gulzar's little-known magic. Unfortunately this was used just as a background score.

Raat ka shauk hai
Raat ki saundhi si khamoshi ka
Shauk hai, ho shauk hai, ho shauk hai

Subha ki roshni
Bezubaan subho ki aur gungunati
Roshni ka Shauk hai, ho shauk hai, ho shauk hai

San sani anwlon ka
Ke ishq ke banwlon ka

San sani anwle
Ke ishq ke banwle
Barf se khelte badolon ka
Shauk hai

Kaash ye zindagi Khel hi khel mein kho gayi hoti
Raat ka shauk hai, ho shauk hai, ho shauk hai

Neend ki goliyon ka
Khwab ke loriyon ka
Neend ki goliyan
Khwab ke loriyan
Bezubaan aus ki boliyon ka
Shauk hai
Kaash ye zindagi binkahe binsune so gayi hoti
Subha ki roshni
Bezubaan subho ki aur gungunati
Roshni ka Shauk hai, ho shauk hai...

Lyrics Courtesy: http://www.navrasas.com/guru/shauk-hai.html

This song is about a girl's desires. a girl who wishes to feel the joys of life. she aspires to feel the night and the quietness that ensues. she aspires to feel the day with its bright mornings. she wants to taste the madness of love, as much as she wants to be able to taste the tangy amla. she fancies to be able to feel the cold and the cloud, and the beautiful dewdrops...

Kaash yeh zindagi khel hi khel mein kho gayi hoti...

She has no anger at the things that she has been denied. she has some simple wishes before she starts to drift off to her sleep with lullabies and sleeping pills.

Kaash ye zindagi binkahe binsune so gayi hoti...

It is easier said than done when people say, "wake up and smell the rain, take pleasures in the simple things of life." what if you want to, but you are simply unable to ? what if there is something so broken in you that you cannot fix it and you cannot feel anything ?

While talking about the song with a friend, he said: isn't it horrible when you are incapable of strong feelings...you feel like a walking ghost.

Touché.